I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
