So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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