"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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