hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
