I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
