Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
