just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
