My nipple is on Facebook.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
