last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
