Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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