Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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