whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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