he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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