if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
