Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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