I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
