Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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