my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
