I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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