You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
