Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
