i barfeds in our rink
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
