we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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