super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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