It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
