the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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