Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
