Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
