Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
