Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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