i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
