I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
