So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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