Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
