I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You need a sexual gate keeper
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
