just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
