My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
