You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
