I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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