I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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