exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
