I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
