I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
