He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
