I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
