So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
