she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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