What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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