so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
