Me. At least after what I've been through.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
