i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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